That’s another of those irregular verbs, isn’t it? I give confidential press briefings; you leak; he’s being charged under section 2A of the Official Secrets Act.
![magesmagesmages:
fuckyeaminister:
[The President of Buranda plans a speech urging the Scots and Irish to fight against “British colonialism”.]
Jim Hacker: Humphrey, do you think it is a good idea to issue a statement?
Sir Humphrey: Well, Minister, in practical terms we have the usual six options: One: do nothing.Two: issue a statement deploring the speech.Three: lodge an official protest.Four: cut off aid.Five: break off diplomatic relations.And six: declare war.
Hacker: Which should be it?
Sir Humphrey: Well: If we do nothing, that means we implicitly agree with the speech.If we issue a statement, we’ll just look foolish.If we lodge a protest, it’ll be ignored.We can’t cut off aid, because we don’t give them any.If we break off diplomatic relations, then we can’t negotiate the oil rig contracts.And if we declare war, it might just look as though we were over-reacting!
How did I guess you would be a yesminister/primeminister fan, Shorts? YOU ARE HUMPHREY DO NOT DENY IT.
I wish I had half of his command of the English language.
Or scriptwriters who do.
Though as a Yes, Minister fan I will of course take the comparison to a civil servant for what it is, the highest compliment one could hope to receive!](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2frwj28me1r10u98o1_500.jpg)
[The President of Buranda plans a speech urging the Scots and Irish to fight against “British colonialism”.]
Jim Hacker: Humphrey, do you think it is a good idea to issue a statement?
Sir Humphrey: Well, Minister, in practical terms we have the usual six options:
One: do nothing.
Two: issue a statement deploring the speech.
Three: lodge an official protest.
Four: cut off aid.
Five: break off diplomatic relations.
And six: declare war.Hacker: Which should be it?
Sir Humphrey: Well:
If we do nothing, that means we implicitly agree with the speech.
If we issue a statement, we’ll just look foolish.
If we lodge a protest, it’ll be ignored.
We can’t cut off aid, because we don’t give them any.
If we break off diplomatic relations, then we can’t negotiate the oil rig contracts.
And if we declare war, it might just look as though we were over-reacting!How did I guess you would be a yesminister/primeminister fan, Shorts? YOU ARE HUMPHREY DO NOT DENY IT.
I wish I had half of his command of the English language.
Or scriptwriters who do.
Though as a Yes, Minister fan I will of course take the comparison to a civil servant for what it is, the highest compliment one could hope to receive!
Source: fuckyeaminister
[The President of Buranda plans a speech urging the Scots and Irish to fight against “British colonialism”.]
Jim Hacker: Humphrey, do you think it is a good idea to issue a statement?
Sir Humphrey: Well, Minister, in practical terms we have the usual six options:
One: do nothing.
Two: issue a statement deploring the speech.
Three: lodge an official protest.
Four: cut off aid.
Five: break off diplomatic relations.
And six: declare war.Hacker: Which should be it?
Sir Humphrey: Well:
If we do nothing, that means we implicitly agree with the speech.
If we issue a statement, we’ll just look foolish.
If we lodge a protest, it’ll be ignored.
We can’t cut off aid, because we don’t give them any.
If we break off diplomatic relations, then we can’t negotiate the oil rig contracts.
And if we declare war, it might just look as though we were over-reacting!
![archiemcphee:
Lifehacker assembled an awesome and pretty thorough post of geeky computer-oriented April Fool’s Day pranks. Here are a few of our favourites:
“If you’re short on time, a quick wallpaper switch can provide for a few funny moments. From the classic cracked screen wallpaper [which is the top image you see here] to the horrifying iOS 3 on your iPad, you have quite a few choices at your disposal. Another favorite is to take a screenshot of their desktop, set it as the desktop, and then hide their icons and taskbar. Everything will look normal, but nothing will respond to any mouse clicks. Alternatively, you can take a screenshot of their desktop, set it as their wallpaper, move some icons around, and take another screenshot. Repeat until you have a very cluttered desktop, with only a few icons that actually work!”
“Microsoft has gotten in on the joy of pranking and provided a very realistic, platform-detecting screensaver that mimics the dreaded Blue Screen of Death.”
“Another oldie-but-a-goodie is to install a VNC client on your coworker’s computer, then control it from your own—they’ll have no idea why the mouse is moving by itself, starting up applications, and typing creepy messages on their screen. You can control both Windows PCs with VNC and Macs with TightVNC. If you’re both on Macs, you can just use OS X’s built-in remote access settingto do the same thing.”
“A popular April Fools’ geek trick is changing the autocorrect on your friend’s copy of Microsoft Word, so that when they type common words like “the”, they get something else. This can be a long humorous phrase, a misspelling (“teh”), or even changing all their question marks to exclamation points. This is easy enough to do in Word by going to Tools > Autocorrect Options, but if you can install some extra software on their computer, using a text expander could provide all day long hilarity, since it will change those words in all applications, not just Word.”
Visit Lifehacker for even more awesome geeky April Fool’s Day pranks.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1onxnUHTg1qzfsnio1_500.jpg)
![archiemcphee:
Lifehacker assembled an awesome and pretty thorough post of geeky computer-oriented April Fool’s Day pranks. Here are a few of our favourites:
“If you’re short on time, a quick wallpaper switch can provide for a few funny moments. From the classic cracked screen wallpaper [which is the top image you see here] to the horrifying iOS 3 on your iPad, you have quite a few choices at your disposal. Another favorite is to take a screenshot of their desktop, set it as the desktop, and then hide their icons and taskbar. Everything will look normal, but nothing will respond to any mouse clicks. Alternatively, you can take a screenshot of their desktop, set it as their wallpaper, move some icons around, and take another screenshot. Repeat until you have a very cluttered desktop, with only a few icons that actually work!”
“Microsoft has gotten in on the joy of pranking and provided a very realistic, platform-detecting screensaver that mimics the dreaded Blue Screen of Death.”
“Another oldie-but-a-goodie is to install a VNC client on your coworker’s computer, then control it from your own—they’ll have no idea why the mouse is moving by itself, starting up applications, and typing creepy messages on their screen. You can control both Windows PCs with VNC and Macs with TightVNC. If you’re both on Macs, you can just use OS X’s built-in remote access settingto do the same thing.”
“A popular April Fools’ geek trick is changing the autocorrect on your friend’s copy of Microsoft Word, so that when they type common words like “the”, they get something else. This can be a long humorous phrase, a misspelling (“teh”), or even changing all their question marks to exclamation points. This is easy enough to do in Word by going to Tools > Autocorrect Options, but if you can install some extra software on their computer, using a text expander could provide all day long hilarity, since it will change those words in all applications, not just Word.”
Visit Lifehacker for even more awesome geeky April Fool’s Day pranks.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1onxnUHTg1qzfsnio2_500.jpg)
Lifehacker assembled an awesome and pretty thorough post of geeky computer-oriented April Fool’s Day pranks. Here are a few of our favourites:
“If you’re short on time, a quick wallpaper switch can provide for a few funny moments. From the classic cracked screen wallpaper [which is the top image you see here] to the horrifying iOS 3 on your iPad, you have quite a few choices at your disposal. Another favorite is to take a screenshot of their desktop, set it as the desktop, and then hide their icons and taskbar. Everything will look normal, but nothing will respond to any mouse clicks. Alternatively, you can take a screenshot of their desktop, set it as their wallpaper, move some icons around, and take another screenshot. Repeat until you have a very cluttered desktop, with only a few icons that actually work!”
“Microsoft has gotten in on the joy of pranking and provided a very realistic, platform-detecting screensaver that mimics the dreaded Blue Screen of Death.”
“Another oldie-but-a-goodie is to install a VNC client on your coworker’s computer, then control it from your own—they’ll have no idea why the mouse is moving by itself, starting up applications, and typing creepy messages on their screen. You can control both Windows PCs with VNC and Macs with TightVNC. If you’re both on Macs, you can just use OS X’s built-in remote access settingto do the same thing.”
“A popular April Fools’ geek trick is changing the autocorrect on your friend’s copy of Microsoft Word, so that when they type common words like “the”, they get something else. This can be a long humorous phrase, a misspelling (“teh”), or even changing all their question marks to exclamation points. This is easy enough to do in Word by going to Tools > Autocorrect Options, but if you can install some extra software on their computer, using a text expander could provide all day long hilarity, since it will change those words in all applications, not just Word.”
Visit Lifehacker for even more awesome geeky April Fool’s Day pranks.
"I have always wanted to deal with everyone I meet candidly and honestly. If I have made any assertion not warranted by facts, and it is pointed out to me, I will withdraw it cheerfully." - Abraham Lincoln, 1858
